31 May 2009

Steve Aoki = Paris Hilton


I'm pretty sure I've figured it out! Steve Aoki is the male Paris Hilton. Paris decided she'd become famous by spending her daddy's money and partying all the time, everyone knows that, and her looks didn't hurt, either. Steve Aoki is the son of the owner of Benihana, therefore grew up with lots of money. He wanted to be cool, so he played in screamo metal bands. However, this musical career didn't seem to work out very well, so he decided he'd use his daddy's money to start a record label and buy bands that he liked. Now he gets to dance on stage / "colaborate" with guys like The Bloody Beetroots and MSTRKRFT. And the guy didn't really start producing by himself until he signed all his favorite electro producers to his label, which makes me wonder if his solo remixes are really so solo (he is best buds with Bob Rifo, afterall). So, Paris used her daddy's money to make herself as sexy as she could; Steve used his daddy's money to make himself as cool as he could. It's a match made in heaven, they should get married and have The Cobrasnake photograph their wedding.

-M

UPDATE: His sister is also a model and an actress. Forgot to mention that her phone book probably played a big role in his career as well (Thanks GuessWho?).
Posted by Bastille @ Sunday, May 31, 2009
Labels: ,

22 comments:

  1. StûkMay 31, 2009 at 6:17 AM

    Hahaaaaha!! Awesome

    ReplyDelete
  2. GuessWho?May 31, 2009 at 10:46 AM

    Steve Aoki is a fucking dick.
    Devon is responsible for him getting his connections, y'know with her being model and all. It's handy to be a DJ at these things.

    His money meant shit until tell she gave him the address book.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BastilleMay 31, 2009 at 3:24 PM

    That's a good point, I forgot about her.

    ReplyDelete
  4. IshvaraJune 1, 2009 at 2:18 AM

    Haha!

    ReplyDelete
  5. DanlJune 1, 2009 at 4:05 AM

    Everything you post is awesome

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 1, 2009 at 7:51 AM

    Thanks danl that means a lot to us. It turns out I know your cowriter DLowe, I've djed with him before at Oberlin.
    -J

    ReplyDelete
  7. Guess Who?June 1, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    DiD YoU KnOw?

    That Dim Mak funds some of the "big" blogs? Which is a major conflict of interest if there ever was one.

    How many times have you seen Dim Mak advertising on a blog? Think about it... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. BastilleJune 1, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    Actually, I know that one in particular puts up their advertisement for free:

    http://fancysounds.blogspot.com/2009/05/dim-makrcrd-lbl-madness.html

    These comments make for a fun read.

    ReplyDelete
  9. GuessWho?June 2, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    Fancy sounds are a bunch of faggots and they are on the payroll, despite the lies.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Clinton BowenNovember 6, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    Apes with Barrels,

    You might want to cite your sources of info.

    As far as I know, Steve Aoki didn't use any of his father's money to start dim mak records. It was self made the the parties he held back in his college dorm room and his friend that got him started in DJ'ing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 10, 2009 at 2:08 AM

    I agree with Clinton Bowen. But I don't really mind steve aoki.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousNovember 10, 2009 at 2:09 AM

    -J

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMarch 26, 2010 at 6:14 AM

    aoki is god. fuck you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJune 2, 2010 at 1:50 AM

    stop being fags and go to his show its actually good and id like to see u say his set was bad

    ReplyDelete
  15. gggggggAugust 30, 2010 at 2:31 AM

    nice post) he has few nice remixes,but he is realy ugly )

    ReplyDelete
  16. HippsterSeptember 4, 2010 at 9:12 PM

    hello i need some help, do you know this song name?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BQ13R0YweA

    its from a Stve Aoki set list

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ear CandyDecember 4, 2010 at 6:45 PM

    This has made my day, Bastille you are actually totally right on a lot of the things. I produce and dj and recently got free tickets to see Aoki, now I saw him at Ultra 2, but this night was classic not only did he not mix worth the shit he played Warp 1.9 three times in one set. Then I totally caught him play a pre recording and when I got close and saw his computer screen it said JFK full mix.

    Interesting night!

    Great Act, full of Emotion on the MIC

    This proved to me that I have a chance of making 18,000 dollars a night and still accomplish nothing but a buzz while playing jams off my Mac LOL

    ReplyDelete
  18. shiwangiMarch 2, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    Paris Hilton is my absolutely gorgeous. I'm collecting her picture over years and truly she is the most beautiful model in the world. It really doesn't matter if she wear bikini, casual or also some fetish fashion as I surprisingly saw pictures on http://latexr.com/ - simply amazing woman!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jan STarkMarch 9, 2011 at 7:19 AM

    That last comment just cracked me the fuck up. Keep up the great work mate!

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousMarch 11, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    All I can say is he was real nice back in 1999 to book my band(s) in California and let us crash. Not to mention he hooked us up with a tour of the town and free Benihana meal. 15 of us. Say what you want, spoiled or not, at least he is being (quite) productive in this world. If you ask me, it just sounds like good old jealousy.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousFebruary 24, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    He is A LOT more productive than Paris Hilton. LMAO

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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